Do Soulmates Exist?

Today I woke up thinking about what a soulmate would be, her picture came to my mind and I remembered Elizabeth Gilbert: “People think a soulmate is the perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soulmate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who draws your attention to yourself so you can change your life. A true soulmate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they break down your walls and wake you up with a slap. But living with a soulmate forever? No. It hurts too much. Soulmates only come into your life to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave” – the truth is that soulmates hurt us and leave!

I remembered my mother. I had a hard-working mother, who never gave up, who supported an entire household, who never stopped, who gave us everything we could possibly have, always threw birthday parties, took us places, who helped us grow, study, and learn to fight for our lives. A good mother! But I also had an absent mother, a mother who didn't think about what she really wanted, who didn't know herself, didn't love herself, or understand herself, a super religious mother with a closed mind – which made her raise me stuck to convictions and ideas that might not be good for me in the huge world we live in, things and paradigms that could only be broken after I became an adult. But I had a mother! She wasn't my soulmate in the way I dreamed and wanted, but if I saw her as someone who took my foot off my feet, showed me what was truly important, hurt me, fixed me, and said things that sounded like a slap in my face. Yes, she was my soulmate. And my mother did her job the best she could and knew how.

My second soulmate was discovered recently. While I was searching through my memories to find out who was always there, at all times, in all places. Maybe because my aunt doesn't have children of her own, she adopted all of us; maybe because she has been through hard times, she has always decided to supply our needs; maybe because she is a superior being and even if she had a family she would continue to be present in our lives, not sure. Maybe! So many maybes... Years ago my soulmate was made up of several people, the person who underwent my first surgery with me, who took care of my varicose veins, who took care of me in the hospital; the person who calls me once a week (probably the only one who still calls, because in the age of text messages, a call is the real proof of love) and the person I turn to at all times when I need the most, but only when I need it because I also have limitations and asking for help is one of them. Aunts and friends are also soulmates! Aunts and friends are also there for all of us. It's a good thing we have friends and aunts in our lives. Sisterhood is what keeps us going, it is everything!

Why didn't I see it that way before? Why did we always think of soulmates as being a loving partner? Why is there nothing like sisterhood among women? It is so much stronger and helps us achieve everything, do what we want and be who we want. Today I woke up and saw all of you, women, out there, my sisters. Why was I blind before? Why didn't I see it?

My soulmates were always there in many ways, worried about me, about what I was being and doing, about my future, my soul, my life and my pleasure. In fact, life leaves us alone in a way that maintaining sisterhood is almost impossible because we are so busy these days. We have to fight for our sisterhood, for our bonds, to keep in touch with our sisters everywhere. I have sisters in America, in Brazil, in Greece, in Ireland, in Saudi Arabia, in Equador, in Mexico, in Australia, and in Portugal.

For more than 40 years, I felt distanced from what gives me great pleasure, my sisters, all work was for stability, for survival, for money. One day like me, you wake up and realize that what is there in your life is only material things "alone”. That does not satisfy you, fulfill you, and need more. More joy, more happiness, more friendships, more sisterhood!

The simple fact of understanding that we need more creates a conflict. The understanding of not being still in the face of life is already a reason for war: internal and external. The world does not want us to keep trying for more, it wants a dull and boring life. Those who dare to want more are already considered warriors and winners by nature, because everyone will be against you, trying to prove that we need to be steady, calm, like we are just breathing, but not really living.

Being able to fight for a dream then becomes a battle against everything and everyone. Some turn their back on us, others empower others. Some stand up for victories, others fear the fighters. And, if I am really telling you the truth, reader, when the dream is ours, the one who has to fight and believe in it is always US. Of course, it would be easier with help, but I am a dreamer and I will fight alone if necessary because I refuse to feel like a ghost, to live a life where everyone pretends to be fine, but in the silence of their rooms, at night, when they are alone, their masks fall and they cry. People are used to pretending, they fall into their beds in despair, in anger, in rage, in animosity, and is that their true selves? When do they show their true selves? I will try to live showing my true self, even when destroyed, abandoned and feeling my worst.

I refuse to be dormant. Sometimes people fill themselves with medication to sleep, to forget or to not think about their problems, about how they let life take them without a real decision, without knowing how to change or wanting to change. And now? Now it's too late to go back, that's what some people say. If you think like that, that's how it will be. I refuse to stand still, I'm going to fight. Wake up, sisters, let us fill this world with our love and unity showing everyone how we are becoming the best we can be!